Push

I just don't know how to stop.

I always push too hard, too soon, too much.

Then when it doesn't work, or somebody else gets scared or hurt... I pull in.

I pull in too hard, too soon, too much.

I scream. Oh god I scream on the inside when it all inevitably spirals downward.

I grab at anyone or anything that's willing to listen to my mistakes and words. I end up screwing things up with them too.

It's an endless cycle of emotional begging that I ask of people.

The sad thing is that the one person that's willing to listen is the one I pushed the hardest.